1. Our Marriage Encounter weekend, May 23-25 1975
PENNY TO BOB
My Love – I felt ugly and dumb, even crazy, a vegetable until I met you. You made me beautiful, bright. You gave me worthy, gave me identity. You loved the way I gulped when I drank liquids. You love my clumsiness. My body is no longer ugly because you have looked at me with love, because your gentle, loving soft yet strong hands have touched it.
You have given my life laughter.
You have taken out the heavy seriousness of my life.
Help me to really listen with my heart, God’s instrument, and not my head, the evil one’s. I will not need to lay blame especially on myself. Life deals us blows, very often gifts from God and I am an insignificant human who thinks I am the captain of my life. No one is to blame. We are either the instrument of God or the devil. That is my choice. The rest is up to God and His Way and His Will.
I try to cover up my feelings of fear, of inadequacy by an outer shell of confidence and self-assurance. I thank you my love, for each day bringing out the real me, breaking down my wall, my shell. You have always been to me, strong, even in your gentleness. I have always and now more so leaned on your strength. I gladly turn my whole life over to you with my full trust. Listen to my heart, please, and not my tongue. My tongue is often dub and the tool of my confused mind. Today I will begin again.
I feel God truly loves me because of you. It is hard for me to accept that you love me because I am special. I feel it is you who are hypnotized, but I am grateful. At last I have the courage to say I am wonderful as you say with your heart, your adoring eyes. Now I know that I cannot put doubt into your mind. I have not hypnotized you with my hopes and wishes, my feelings. I am what I am because you are my mirror and I want to be what I am with you.
GOD DOES NOT MAKE JUNK
God showed me how to walk; I do not have to crawl.
God made me in His Image.
God is good. He gave me the tools. I must use them.
I am neither Optimistic nor Pessimistic.
I am HOPEFUL.
And I love you with all my being. Penny Lord
BOB TO PENNY
To my Darling
I love you. But you know that, or we wouldn’t be married, and we wouldn’t be here.
I look down the list of problems married couples have, and I would imagine that throughout the 17 years of our marriage, we’ve experienced quite a few of these problems. We’ve survived them. But there are two which really hit out at me and I want to share them with you.
Taking each other for granted – I really can’t speak for you about this, but I’ve been guilty of this, though in my defense, I wasn’t aware of it.
You’re partially to blame for this. You’ve been such a good partner, and best friend that I guess I kind of figured you could handle yourself without my help. I can’t help thinking about a dream I had where you and Flip Wilson (comic of the 60’s) and I were on top of a large pile of bricks. You were working so hard, and you are a little klutzy, that I concentrated on what I was doing, assuming you could take care of yourself and you fell and I lost you.
I was never quite sure what that dream meant, except that I had lost you, and there was an emptiness I felt. I never want that again. Penny, I love you too much to ever want to lose you. I’ll try always to be sensitive to your feelings, and I will never consciously take you for granted again. But if you feel this happening, that I’m taking you for granted, please tell me. I won’t let it happen.
The other area is one that is with us now. It’s a real problem, which with God’s help, we will beat. It’s your feeling of insecurity. I know that I’m to blame for the cause of your insecurity. But please believe me; you have no reason for insecurity now. I love you dearly. I find you extremely beautiful and exciting. You are more beautiful and desirable now today than that day at the Academy when I first saw you. You were wearing that white sack dress with the red and blue trim, and the sack thing in the back. I watched you, and watched you and said to myself “What a hunk of chunk she is.” Well, you’re more of a hunk today than you ever were, even then.
I want you to keep believing you are beautiful and sexy. But not because I won’t find you desirable. You always will be. I’ll be pinching your rear end when we’re in our 80’s. Please trust me, my love. I adore you. Bobby Lord
Bob and Penny Lord Ministries
Journeys of Faith